Master, you are too far… how I wish that you were nearer
My heart it beats your name… it does not beat any other
And your shrine calls my name… wanting me as its visitor
* * *
I am without my wings… in your love I cannot flutter
When I speak of my love… I hesitate and I stutter
How can a beloved… be out of reach of his lover?
How can I gasp for air… when you’ve left me underwater?
How can hope reappear… when without you nothing matters
My heartbeat is fading… as if death is edging closer
Just like your Ruqaya… Master I am without water
Your light from me hidden… and in your absence I wither
My soul sits in your shrine… and I’ve never felt emptier
* * *
It has been far too long… and never have you been further
Every year I feel… when Arbaeen edges nearer
A sense of such comfort… that you give to your visitors
But this year there’s nothing… only despair, only horror
Can it really be so… am I not worthy anymore?
Heaven is far away… I feel the fumes of hellfire
Peace of mind is fading… my anxiety is stronger
My feet are cursing me… and my eyes call me a liar
Even they don’t believe… that I will not return this year
* * *
In times of grief and pain… whenever we ask, you’d answer
But now there is silence… your severed neck we cannot hear
The road to you was long… but now it is not even there
Without you I’m orphaned… a child without a father
Weeping in your absence… much like you, left as a stranger
No beloved by me… no comforter and no carer
Return me toward you… consider me as Ruqaya
Come to me in a dream… just like when you visited her
And when I then awake… return my soul to Karbala
* * *
London – 16/09/20