Alone… is what they call me when they see
Alone… Ummul Baneen without sons she’s
Alone… not even a shadow with me… alone
* * *
I have slept countless sleepless nights, only the stars… provide me light… without my moons
And in the dimness of my nights, I cry a scream… and no-one hears… without my moons
Within the darkness of these nights, my wounds, they bleed… and are not healed… without my moons
I weep… Only the stars witness my tears
I weep… Living in night for days and years
I weep… Not a moon to comfort my fears… alone
* * *
I recall when if I was scared, they’d coming running… hearing my cries… at my service
Now every day I live in fear and not a soul… comforts my heart… at my service
Now at night even my shadow leaves me alone… no longer there… at my service
My house… Was once raised by many pillars
My house… Only beauty in its mirrors
My house… Fell with Abbas and his brothers… alone
* * *
Within the absence of light what does one become… let me tell you… I’m so alone
When light is dim, I’m left speaking to my shadow… and it tells me… I’m so alone
When there’s no light, I’m left drawing, my sons shadows… and they tell me… I’m so alone
Shadows… Are all I know of happiness
Shadows… Draw out for me my memories
Shadows… Remind me that I am son-less… alone
* * *
Know that the word, goodbye, is harsh upon my tongue… and when you’re gone… I draw the moon
To pretend that my son Abbas is still with me… in his absence… I draw the moon
I sent him to battle as if I don’t love him… yet when he’s gone… I draw the moon
He left… and saw not a tear in my eye
He left… not knowing how much I would cry
He left… thinking I’m smiling, he would die… alone
* * *
If I want to speak the words that within my heart… rest there, so deep… I’d recall him
I’d recall when his tiny hands clenched my finger… and I’d smile… I’d recall him
But when left overjoyed by this bundle of joy… I’d see Hussain… I’d recall him
I’d see… memories of me telling them
I’d see… I told them I’d sacrifice him
I’d see… that one day in my house I’d dream… alone
* * *
When I hold his children and I see them smile… I’d recall him… I’d faint and fall
If they looked thirsty, I would first look for Hussain… he’d not be there… I’d faint and fall
And when I’d fall I’d wait for him to pick me up… where was he when… I’d faint and fall
Abbas… I have blocked your name from my mind
Abbas… your soul to Hussain I’d assigned
Abbas… but when I’m hurt, your name I find… alone
* * *
(Karbala – 09/12/12)